So this is Christmas...

This has been a bittersweet holiday
it is amazing to have you family (complete=]) and best friends around
there is nothing else I could ask for...
but this Christmas came with more than only good news
I cannot believe what is going on right now
too much crap
no man to rely on like I thought I had
well, its going to be a new year
I want to leave behind all that is old
ready for new, looking for better
what didnt work once or twice
it will never work...
disappointed with myself too
many things that i couldnt accomplish this 2010
i guess ill keep on trying
and doing
i have the most important things in life surrounding me
I can only say
well, this IS Christmas
with all the bad and good
you just have to believe..
Merry Christmas!
HO Ho ho

I guess I am back to what I started in the cold beginning of this year.
It felt wrong but from time to time it seems so right.
I cant hold my feelings anymore
Ive been lonely for a long while
Ive gotten to know me more than I desired to..
Theres no more things I dont know about myself
and that makes me happy..
It is an old begin but I am ready to make it happen
I dont want to feel empty anymore
Im so tough! it disgusts me, how come love doesnt happen to me so ofetn?
am i afraid? am i not capable to give love? to even receive it?
Im working on things to become more what I used to be.. I guess this time Im ready
I suppose you can update fairytales and include some nowadays music-art-culture to it
cinderella doesnt have to be that pure and beautiful
she can be a little crazy, more fun and just cute.. sometimes stunning ;)
I cant be hesitating about how im supposed to feel about somebody
just FEEL IT
im a year older now.. LET IT BE
ive grown.. I SWEAR
magic can happen not too far from here.. magic is what you make it
no capes or cards needed

happy birthday to me ... I am so old! but def wiser

ow ow

guerra de angustia

me acuerdo que esta cancion recien salio
cuando terminamos por segunda o tercera vez?

suspiros de dolor
la incognita de no saber si esta vez era definitivo
preguntas sin respuestas que nunca le diste

la gente me mira,
se preguntan si es mal de amores
o solo un mal dia

nadie puede entender como me siento por dentro
es amor, desilusion, orgullo??
ni yo misma se

y algo asi podria describirlo
(o John Mayer lo describio mejor por mi en ingles)

.......

(las mayusculas introducen mis pensamientos a las del cantautor)

NO PUEDO DORMIR
rayos caen dentro de mi pecho para mantenerme despierta en la noche

Suenho con formas de como hacerte entender mi dolor

ES INEXPLICABLE!

nubes de azufre en el aire
bombas caen por todas partes
es una guerra de angustia,

una vez que quieres que comience
nadie nunca realmente gana

POR QUE NO ME SIGUES?
POR QUE NO ME RUEGAS?

si quieres mas amor por que no me lo dices
si quieres mas de mi por que no me lo dices

???

Deja caer su nombre
clavalo y gira el cuchillo de nuevo

"ESTOY TAN BIEN SIN TI"

mira mi cara
como pretendo no sentir dolor (no hay dolor)


nubes de azufre en el aire
bombas caen por todas partes
es una guerra de angustia dentro de mi

una vez que empieza
nadie realmente gana

DILO!

si quieres mas amor por que no me lo dices
si quieres mas de mi por que no me lo dices
solo dilo!

SOMOS TAN ORGULLOSOS

como es que de la unica manera de saber que tan alto me elevas
es viendo que tan lejos me caigo

Solo Dios sabe que tanto te podria amar si tan solo me dejaras
pero no puedo romperlo todo

es la angustia

SOLO QUIERO QUE HABLEMOS DE ESTO

no me importa si no dormimos del todo esta noche
solo hay que arreglar las cosas ahora

ME MUERO DE MIEDO,

Te lo juro por Dios que la vamos a hacer
si pones tu arma abajo

Vino Tinto y pastillas
ya estas hablando mierda de nuevo
es una guerra de angustia

Y SEGUIMOS CON LA EXPECTATIVA

Es bueno saber que todo es un juego
La decepcion tiene un nombre
es la guerra de angustia
es una guerra de angustia
.......

Y QUIEN DIRIA QUE AUN SEGUIMOS ANDANDO JUNTOS...

i wont see you again anymore

this is done
its beat ..good bye prince charming
fake one!
flake
im out of ur life
but it was sssssooooo nice to know you

GOOD MOTHER FUCKING BYE!

hoy es el dia

y que tal 4 de julio
me fui de campamento
hice lo que tenia (malear maleadamente)
y por fin me he dado cuenta de lo que me toca hacer
es un nuevo empezar
con la mente mas claras
metas a corto plazo
y cosas que arreglar con mi pasado que se pueden convertir en el futuro
quiero ganarme la vida haciendo algo que me gusta
creando, entreteniendo, expresando
marketing? quizas no del todo lo mio
yo no se vender
yo digo la verdad
yo me expreso como quiero
lo mio es crear
no persuadir a personas para que me compren algo que ni creo
manana tambien
vere a ese mitad hombre mitad ninho que me ha quitado el suenho
por unos meses
le dire que he pensado bastante bien las cosas
y q yo ya no estoy para ser la cualquierita
sino la firme
y con derechos!!
HOY es el dia de empezar a ser la que quiero ser
las cosas pasaran

como empezar?
hay tantas cosas que te tengo que contar

me siento bien
hay algunos episodios en mi vida
de los cuales tu no formaste parte
pero al quererte, apreciarte y conocerte al cabo
me hicieron darme cuenta de lo mucho que tengo
de cuanto te quiero
y te aprecio en mi vida

hasta el fin

5 de la manana,
no puedo dormir
pensando en lo que pudo ser
y que ya no podra ser mas

tu nombre me roba el suenho
tu recuerdo se apodera de mi cama
es una de esas noches
donde la vida se hace pesada

Las cosas no estan bien
me he aferrado al pasado
no he podido dejar ir
lo que quizas nunca fue

He andado sola
por mucho tiempo
esta vez, queria companhia
lo estas dejando ir
ya me voy de nuevo con mi melancolia

No me llames si no es para crear nuevas cosas
no me escuches si no es para abrime el alma
mi incapacidad por mantener mi palabra
te ha hecho huir y esta vez sin retorno

He tratado de seguir adelante
pero tu sabes como soy
no veo, no escucho, no siento
mis sentidos solo van dirigidos a la guerra
y esta ya la he ganado

Me voy con mis ilusiones quebradas
para encontrar otro final feliz desde el cielo
me marcho con los ojos caidos,
una lagrima y opaco suspiro

ugh!
todo indica
que
me enamore,
y si,
esta vez podria doler..
y mucho
bastante,
si me rompen el corazon, me quedare
descorazonada
por mucho tiempo
quizas por siempre



eres tu?
donde estas?
te veo
pero no se si aun te siento

tell me

am i the only one affected?
or you are doing exactly what i am?
i keep asking myself countless questions
with no answers

am i the only one hurting?
or you are doing it intensively?
i keep thinking youll be back
wont you?

am i the one with the issues?
or yours are just worse than mine?
i couldnt figure you out
did you get me?

am i the one who doesnt appreciate things?
cuz that is what you said
i tried to show you who i was
were you paying attention?

im the only one caring
dont you think i have forgotten
the way you treated me
was not right

im the only one who keeps waiting
for a call, a message, an email
and ill wait and wait
cuz you wont

keep filling my glass up..feel my soul

Friday night
terrible weather
questions without answers
ansiety,
fear,
loneliness
people keep coming
questioning things that i have no answer for
they look at me
like they really like my looks
i look back at them
like "get that fuck off"
I am ready for more fun
these past weekends have been interesting
I just need some wine,
a lot of it to be honest,
a big white smile
and i'll bee all game
it is friday night,
the streets are white,
my soul is red
my mind is black
im ready for what is coming
im glad you are still there
watching me
cant wait for tonight
i am gonna see you

new begining

awesome night
awesome thoughts
everything is awesome like it is
i m so positive
ready to make it happen
life is too short like to regret things
life is too awesome like to let things go
it is up to you
up to your own will
life is too good to be true
take it day by day
smell the aromas
taste the flavors
touch the textures
it is an awesome start
the day just began
open the door
let it pop
you have only one life
you live only once
smile at everything
that makes you feel alive
its the new you
love it, live it, laugh it

snowy days

snowy days remind me of you
or how i used to feel about you
even though you are gone and not coming back
i still think you are around watching me
or maybe that is what i wanna believe

i wonder sometimes
why you would not fight for this
what was it about me that you felt it was not worth it
was it you? was it me?
as a matter fact, i am still unsure

i never got the chance to tell you about my feelings,
my crazy thoughts and even the future i planned for us
now all of this only exists in the back of my mind
you wont be longer part of it
you are too far

And the snow is falling down
with it, some tears upon my face
i cannot say i am sad
it is just an effing snowy day that blows my mind
and i wonder if you wonder the same things

but i am too far now
i always were you used to say
you will never get to see the whole of me
i will never have the chance to show you
it is too late now, you were always too far...

i dont know where to go
who to follow
when am i gonna see it clear?
my mind is stuck
cant find my way
i do need help
i wanna run away, but i dont know where
who with
i need some guidance
S.O.S.