tell me

am i the only one affected?
or you are doing exactly what i am?
i keep asking myself countless questions
with no answers

am i the only one hurting?
or you are doing it intensively?
i keep thinking youll be back
wont you?

am i the one with the issues?
or yours are just worse than mine?
i couldnt figure you out
did you get me?

am i the one who doesnt appreciate things?
cuz that is what you said
i tried to show you who i was
were you paying attention?

im the only one caring
dont you think i have forgotten
the way you treated me
was not right

im the only one who keeps waiting
for a call, a message, an email
and ill wait and wait
cuz you wont

keep filling my glass up..feel my soul

Friday night
terrible weather
questions without answers
ansiety,
fear,
loneliness
people keep coming
questioning things that i have no answer for
they look at me
like they really like my looks
i look back at them
like "get that fuck off"
I am ready for more fun
these past weekends have been interesting
I just need some wine,
a lot of it to be honest,
a big white smile
and i'll bee all game
it is friday night,
the streets are white,
my soul is red
my mind is black
im ready for what is coming
im glad you are still there
watching me
cant wait for tonight
i am gonna see you

new begining

awesome night
awesome thoughts
everything is awesome like it is
i m so positive
ready to make it happen
life is too short like to regret things
life is too awesome like to let things go
it is up to you
up to your own will
life is too good to be true
take it day by day
smell the aromas
taste the flavors
touch the textures
it is an awesome start
the day just began
open the door
let it pop
you have only one life
you live only once
smile at everything
that makes you feel alive
its the new you
love it, live it, laugh it

snowy days

snowy days remind me of you
or how i used to feel about you
even though you are gone and not coming back
i still think you are around watching me
or maybe that is what i wanna believe

i wonder sometimes
why you would not fight for this
what was it about me that you felt it was not worth it
was it you? was it me?
as a matter fact, i am still unsure

i never got the chance to tell you about my feelings,
my crazy thoughts and even the future i planned for us
now all of this only exists in the back of my mind
you wont be longer part of it
you are too far

And the snow is falling down
with it, some tears upon my face
i cannot say i am sad
it is just an effing snowy day that blows my mind
and i wonder if you wonder the same things

but i am too far now
i always were you used to say
you will never get to see the whole of me
i will never have the chance to show you
it is too late now, you were always too far...

i dont know where to go
who to follow
when am i gonna see it clear?
my mind is stuck
cant find my way
i do need help
i wanna run away, but i dont know where
who with
i need some guidance
S.O.S.

Letter to you, from my heart: It's all for good.

Dear You,
I have been thinking and I came up with this conclusion:
I have to let you go with the 2009!
First of all, I wanna truly thank you for all the love, laughs and fun we had together,
but this is not making me happy anymore as a matter fact is making me very sad.
I cannot blame you for all, it might be also me and my issues, but, enough is enough.
I used to get mad because i thought you were acting that way because of me. Why did you never send me a text in the morning
saying good morning I miss you, or just making a comment about the weather or how beautiful you think I am.
Never did.
How about us having dinner, or lunch or simply a nice evening planned together. Never Happened, never will.
You always call late,
probably because I'd be the only person answering a call that late, it can be my fault for not making the rules and letting you know that is not cool.
I have also been thinking that, maybe it is not me.
It is not that you don't care about me but that is the way you are, your childish behaviour does not allow you to see beyond.
It is not that you do not like me, it is just that you are too clueless to know what a girl wants or at least be close.
I do not know if I am making these excuses to excuse myself, cuz if my second theory is wrong then it is me, you don't like me
you'll never see me as that girl.
And I am sorry but I had plenty. It hurts me that you don't see me like that cuz i could see you like it.

Second of all, this would not be the first time we are falling apart, but this time will be the last good bye.
It has been always me trying hard but still cannot find your heart.
You and me does not have a future, you an me was found part 3 in 2009 and you and me will stay to dispel there too.
I always learn my lesson the hard way, and there are many things I'm still learning.
I would not call you a mistake, i rather call you a wake up call
I'm getting old, my mind is clarifying the way.
I will miss you so much, perhaps way too much.
I am an easy person to forget, but this chapter will always remain in a box somewhere in my heart.
To finish with all this I just want you to know that I am ready to let you go, I sent you all the signs already. I wish you the best, you are an awesome person,
there will be no more you and me
have a Merry Christmas
and
a Very- very Happy 2010!
you were the best part of my 2009
loved you (part time)
Sandy D.

And I might confess that my fears are bigger that yours
im afraid of losing you
of waking up one day and know that you wont be by my side anymore
I have to tell you how much I want you in my life
so much that I really dont care what people could think of us
that im crazy that you are insane
Im scared of the fact that you could change me for somebody
better than me, prettier, smarter, funnier
that you stop calling me
that you wont reply my messages
that you could ignore me and make me fall
I dont know what your intensions are
neither mine
but this affection is growing day by day
i like you so much that hurts
i want you so bad that i cant even show you how
i guess its time
i promise im trying to give you the best of me
hopefully you can see it
i cant let you go now
im deeply in love with you
and this time is literally with you, together, holding hands