Social media me esta consumiendo ya no se lo que es hablar con alguien por teléfono o leer un libro apreciar fotos impresas o simplemente apreciar un paisaje sin que me den ganas de usar mi smart phone es estresante y ya no me dan ganas de hacer las cosas que solia amar pintar cantar bailar escribir leer actuar improvisar me vuelven loca las notificaciones y cambios de estados o humores de la gente, gente a la que ni conozco me quiero reencontrar y ya no se ni a quien seguir porque ya no es a mi misma sino a lo trendy ya me aburri, solo pierdo mi tiempo no he leido un libro completo desde que termine la universidad el anho pasado mi deficit de atencion hace que solo haga las cosas a medias. y esta no soy yo ya no tengo pasion por nada me aburre todo y mis suenos ya no tienen mas planes es totalmente triste hace tiempo que conozco a nadie que me llame por telefono que me escriba cartas, que me mande rosas hace tiempo que no veo una pelicula clásica, que no voy al parque a leer un libro que no camino despacio y sin estar "con la hora" ya no quiero estar atada a redes que me sofocan con una subcultura moderna a la que nadie pertenece sino para sentirse parte de algo. nunca me gusto leer las noticias, porque casi siempre son malas, pero como extranho ver a mi papa sentado en el sillon de la sala con una taza de cafe haciendome comentarios los aconteciemientos mundiales mas importantes, siempre lo he admirado. extranho a la persona que solia ser, la que solo se reia cuando algo le daba risa y se sonrojaba al ser piropeada ahora siempre traigo puesta una sonrisa la que esconde mi temor, de no saber muchas cosas por me la he pasado divagando, buscando en donde no hay si tengo que hacer un cambio es mejor empezar hoy esta noche en la que Morfeo no me desea

forcing myself to sleep because i can't get you out of my mind and you are haunting me like a lost soul like you were trying to say something to me too but you don't speak up you are as afraid as me or maybe thats what i want to believe so you don't hurt as much i kept myself quiet and i have waited but i don't know how much more i could wait i am dying inside i want to be loved but only by you be strong? for what? so i can keep myself together? for what? so you can tell me i look good? i don't need to look good if you are not watching me like two lost souls we will find each other i hope not to far from now

get out of my head it was only a game but following the rules is not as easy as i thought it could be it was supposed to be a great weekend which it was but got me a bittersweet end if that was the end id love to see you again but that wasn't the plan i never stick to my promises summer summer summer bring me more and more so i can't think less and less! sight!

THINGS I COULDNT SAY

there are still so many things I didnt get to tell you
I was dying to say the words "I love you too"
my pride and reason did not allow me to
every single thing dictated me that you were not the one
that I should not waste my time
I wasted almost a year on this..
but oh how much we went through.

I wish you knew how much I enjoyed to cuddle with you
morning kisses and late dinners
I wish i could have said "im sorry" more often
I really pushed your buttons badly
I didnt mean to hurt you at all times
I never said how much i liked your body on top of mine
so strong, so firm, so young
i felt protected

I wish I could tell you straight up
that all I wanted from you was You
to be with me, holding hands
i guess Im used to always be late
I couldnt wish you bad
even though im still tempted to make you feel
like im the only one
you dream about, you desire the most
although i already know
i lost you for good or better

i dont know if i got to thank you for your time
and all the unforgettable memories
for taking me out of the whole i was falling into
for making me forget about him
and start loving with an open mind..
there are still so many things we will have to let behind and unsaid
it is what it is
....

and guess who's back
it seems like my heart is a recycling loving machine
he might this time be the one who helps me forget about you
perhaps, ill have to go all the way back to where I came from....

PD. acertiijo

Lo que empieza mal termina mal,
Lamento tanto no haberte llegado a amar
estuve a punto de,
te lo consulte,
me prepare,
tu no me dejaste,
tienes razon
soy solo una ninhita asustada
detras de esa imagen de mujer fatal
que a veces juego a ser

Me duele dejarte ir
me duele recordarte tanto
cuando cierro los ojos y te pienso
me gustaria retroceder el tiempo
y volver a donde empezamos
haria las cosas tan distintas
nunca pense que esto podria ser amor
nunca lo quise creer

Ahora a las cuatro y media de la manana
con algunas ideas rondando mi cabeza aun
no estoy convencida de que el dejarte ir fue la mejor decision
pero ya no puedo seguir con el corazon en la mano
cada duda, cada desden me rompe el alma
ya no puedo seguir adivinando a que jugabamos
lo tuve que hacer por fin
el dejarte esta vez
fue mas decision tuya que mia

te extranhare mientras me acuerde

So this is Christmas...

This has been a bittersweet holiday
it is amazing to have you family (complete=]) and best friends around
there is nothing else I could ask for...
but this Christmas came with more than only good news
I cannot believe what is going on right now
too much crap
no man to rely on like I thought I had
well, its going to be a new year
I want to leave behind all that is old
ready for new, looking for better
what didnt work once or twice
it will never work...
disappointed with myself too
many things that i couldnt accomplish this 2010
i guess ill keep on trying
and doing
i have the most important things in life surrounding me
I can only say
well, this IS Christmas
with all the bad and good
you just have to believe..
Merry Christmas!
HO Ho ho

I guess I am back to what I started in the cold beginning of this year.
It felt wrong but from time to time it seems so right.
I cant hold my feelings anymore
Ive been lonely for a long while
Ive gotten to know me more than I desired to..
Theres no more things I dont know about myself
and that makes me happy..
It is an old begin but I am ready to make it happen
I dont want to feel empty anymore
Im so tough! it disgusts me, how come love doesnt happen to me so ofetn?
am i afraid? am i not capable to give love? to even receive it?
Im working on things to become more what I used to be.. I guess this time Im ready
I suppose you can update fairytales and include some nowadays music-art-culture to it
cinderella doesnt have to be that pure and beautiful
she can be a little crazy, more fun and just cute.. sometimes stunning ;)
I cant be hesitating about how im supposed to feel about somebody
just FEEL IT
im a year older now.. LET IT BE
ive grown.. I SWEAR
magic can happen not too far from here.. magic is what you make it
no capes or cards needed

happy birthday to me ... I am so old! but def wiser

ow ow