Social media me esta consumiendo ya no se lo que es hablar con alguien por teléfono o leer un libro apreciar fotos impresas o simplemente apreciar un paisaje sin que me den ganas de usar mi smart phone es estresante y ya no me dan ganas de hacer las cosas que solia amar pintar cantar bailar escribir leer actuar improvisar me vuelven loca las notificaciones y cambios de estados o humores de la gente, gente a la que ni conozco me quiero reencontrar y ya no se ni a quien seguir porque ya no es a mi misma sino a lo trendy ya me aburri, solo pierdo mi tiempo no he leido un libro completo desde que termine la universidad el anho pasado mi deficit de atencion hace que solo haga las cosas a medias. y esta no soy yo ya no tengo pasion por nada me aburre todo y mis suenos ya no tienen mas planes es totalmente triste hace tiempo que conozco a nadie que me llame por telefono que me escriba cartas, que me mande rosas hace tiempo que no veo una pelicula clásica, que no voy al parque a leer un libro que no camino despacio y sin estar "con la hora" ya no quiero estar atada a redes que me sofocan con una subcultura moderna a la que nadie pertenece sino para sentirse parte de algo. nunca me gusto leer las noticias, porque casi siempre son malas, pero como extranho ver a mi papa sentado en el sillon de la sala con una taza de cafe haciendome comentarios los aconteciemientos mundiales mas importantes, siempre lo he admirado. extranho a la persona que solia ser, la que solo se reia cuando algo le daba risa y se sonrojaba al ser piropeada ahora siempre traigo puesta una sonrisa la que esconde mi temor, de no saber muchas cosas por me la he pasado divagando, buscando en donde no hay si tengo que hacer un cambio es mejor empezar hoy esta noche en la que Morfeo no me desea

forcing myself to sleep because i can't get you out of my mind and you are haunting me like a lost soul like you were trying to say something to me too but you don't speak up you are as afraid as me or maybe thats what i want to believe so you don't hurt as much i kept myself quiet and i have waited but i don't know how much more i could wait i am dying inside i want to be loved but only by you be strong? for what? so i can keep myself together? for what? so you can tell me i look good? i don't need to look good if you are not watching me like two lost souls we will find each other i hope not to far from now

get out of my head it was only a game but following the rules is not as easy as i thought it could be it was supposed to be a great weekend which it was but got me a bittersweet end if that was the end id love to see you again but that wasn't the plan i never stick to my promises summer summer summer bring me more and more so i can't think less and less! sight!

THINGS I COULDNT SAY

there are still so many things I didnt get to tell you
I was dying to say the words "I love you too"
my pride and reason did not allow me to
every single thing dictated me that you were not the one
that I should not waste my time
I wasted almost a year on this..
but oh how much we went through.

I wish you knew how much I enjoyed to cuddle with you
morning kisses and late dinners
I wish i could have said "im sorry" more often
I really pushed your buttons badly
I didnt mean to hurt you at all times
I never said how much i liked your body on top of mine
so strong, so firm, so young
i felt protected

I wish I could tell you straight up
that all I wanted from you was You
to be with me, holding hands
i guess Im used to always be late
I couldnt wish you bad
even though im still tempted to make you feel
like im the only one
you dream about, you desire the most
although i already know
i lost you for good or better

i dont know if i got to thank you for your time
and all the unforgettable memories
for taking me out of the whole i was falling into
for making me forget about him
and start loving with an open mind..
there are still so many things we will have to let behind and unsaid
it is what it is
....

and guess who's back
it seems like my heart is a recycling loving machine
he might this time be the one who helps me forget about you
perhaps, ill have to go all the way back to where I came from....

PD. acertiijo

Lo que empieza mal termina mal,
Lamento tanto no haberte llegado a amar
estuve a punto de,
te lo consulte,
me prepare,
tu no me dejaste,
tienes razon
soy solo una ninhita asustada
detras de esa imagen de mujer fatal
que a veces juego a ser

Me duele dejarte ir
me duele recordarte tanto
cuando cierro los ojos y te pienso
me gustaria retroceder el tiempo
y volver a donde empezamos
haria las cosas tan distintas
nunca pense que esto podria ser amor
nunca lo quise creer

Ahora a las cuatro y media de la manana
con algunas ideas rondando mi cabeza aun
no estoy convencida de que el dejarte ir fue la mejor decision
pero ya no puedo seguir con el corazon en la mano
cada duda, cada desden me rompe el alma
ya no puedo seguir adivinando a que jugabamos
lo tuve que hacer por fin
el dejarte esta vez
fue mas decision tuya que mia

te extranhare mientras me acuerde

So this is Christmas...

This has been a bittersweet holiday
it is amazing to have you family (complete=]) and best friends around
there is nothing else I could ask for...
but this Christmas came with more than only good news
I cannot believe what is going on right now
too much crap
no man to rely on like I thought I had
well, its going to be a new year
I want to leave behind all that is old
ready for new, looking for better
what didnt work once or twice
it will never work...
disappointed with myself too
many things that i couldnt accomplish this 2010
i guess ill keep on trying
and doing
i have the most important things in life surrounding me
I can only say
well, this IS Christmas
with all the bad and good
you just have to believe..
Merry Christmas!
HO Ho ho

I guess I am back to what I started in the cold beginning of this year.
It felt wrong but from time to time it seems so right.
I cant hold my feelings anymore
Ive been lonely for a long while
Ive gotten to know me more than I desired to..
Theres no more things I dont know about myself
and that makes me happy..
It is an old begin but I am ready to make it happen
I dont want to feel empty anymore
Im so tough! it disgusts me, how come love doesnt happen to me so ofetn?
am i afraid? am i not capable to give love? to even receive it?
Im working on things to become more what I used to be.. I guess this time Im ready
I suppose you can update fairytales and include some nowadays music-art-culture to it
cinderella doesnt have to be that pure and beautiful
she can be a little crazy, more fun and just cute.. sometimes stunning ;)
I cant be hesitating about how im supposed to feel about somebody
just FEEL IT
im a year older now.. LET IT BE
ive grown.. I SWEAR
magic can happen not too far from here.. magic is what you make it
no capes or cards needed

happy birthday to me ... I am so old! but def wiser

ow ow

guerra de angustia

me acuerdo que esta cancion recien salio
cuando terminamos por segunda o tercera vez?

suspiros de dolor
la incognita de no saber si esta vez era definitivo
preguntas sin respuestas que nunca le diste

la gente me mira,
se preguntan si es mal de amores
o solo un mal dia

nadie puede entender como me siento por dentro
es amor, desilusion, orgullo??
ni yo misma se

y algo asi podria describirlo
(o John Mayer lo describio mejor por mi en ingles)

.......

(las mayusculas introducen mis pensamientos a las del cantautor)

NO PUEDO DORMIR
rayos caen dentro de mi pecho para mantenerme despierta en la noche

Suenho con formas de como hacerte entender mi dolor

ES INEXPLICABLE!

nubes de azufre en el aire
bombas caen por todas partes
es una guerra de angustia,

una vez que quieres que comience
nadie nunca realmente gana

POR QUE NO ME SIGUES?
POR QUE NO ME RUEGAS?

si quieres mas amor por que no me lo dices
si quieres mas de mi por que no me lo dices

???

Deja caer su nombre
clavalo y gira el cuchillo de nuevo

"ESTOY TAN BIEN SIN TI"

mira mi cara
como pretendo no sentir dolor (no hay dolor)


nubes de azufre en el aire
bombas caen por todas partes
es una guerra de angustia dentro de mi

una vez que empieza
nadie realmente gana

DILO!

si quieres mas amor por que no me lo dices
si quieres mas de mi por que no me lo dices
solo dilo!

SOMOS TAN ORGULLOSOS

como es que de la unica manera de saber que tan alto me elevas
es viendo que tan lejos me caigo

Solo Dios sabe que tanto te podria amar si tan solo me dejaras
pero no puedo romperlo todo

es la angustia

SOLO QUIERO QUE HABLEMOS DE ESTO

no me importa si no dormimos del todo esta noche
solo hay que arreglar las cosas ahora

ME MUERO DE MIEDO,

Te lo juro por Dios que la vamos a hacer
si pones tu arma abajo

Vino Tinto y pastillas
ya estas hablando mierda de nuevo
es una guerra de angustia

Y SEGUIMOS CON LA EXPECTATIVA

Es bueno saber que todo es un juego
La decepcion tiene un nombre
es la guerra de angustia
es una guerra de angustia
.......

Y QUIEN DIRIA QUE AUN SEGUIMOS ANDANDO JUNTOS...

i wont see you again anymore

this is done
its beat ..good bye prince charming
fake one!
flake
im out of ur life
but it was sssssooooo nice to know you

GOOD MOTHER FUCKING BYE!

hoy es el dia

y que tal 4 de julio
me fui de campamento
hice lo que tenia (malear maleadamente)
y por fin me he dado cuenta de lo que me toca hacer
es un nuevo empezar
con la mente mas claras
metas a corto plazo
y cosas que arreglar con mi pasado que se pueden convertir en el futuro
quiero ganarme la vida haciendo algo que me gusta
creando, entreteniendo, expresando
marketing? quizas no del todo lo mio
yo no se vender
yo digo la verdad
yo me expreso como quiero
lo mio es crear
no persuadir a personas para que me compren algo que ni creo
manana tambien
vere a ese mitad hombre mitad ninho que me ha quitado el suenho
por unos meses
le dire que he pensado bastante bien las cosas
y q yo ya no estoy para ser la cualquierita
sino la firme
y con derechos!!
HOY es el dia de empezar a ser la que quiero ser
las cosas pasaran

como empezar?
hay tantas cosas que te tengo que contar

me siento bien
hay algunos episodios en mi vida
de los cuales tu no formaste parte
pero al quererte, apreciarte y conocerte al cabo
me hicieron darme cuenta de lo mucho que tengo
de cuanto te quiero
y te aprecio en mi vida

hasta el fin

5 de la manana,
no puedo dormir
pensando en lo que pudo ser
y que ya no podra ser mas

tu nombre me roba el suenho
tu recuerdo se apodera de mi cama
es una de esas noches
donde la vida se hace pesada

Las cosas no estan bien
me he aferrado al pasado
no he podido dejar ir
lo que quizas nunca fue

He andado sola
por mucho tiempo
esta vez, queria companhia
lo estas dejando ir
ya me voy de nuevo con mi melancolia

No me llames si no es para crear nuevas cosas
no me escuches si no es para abrime el alma
mi incapacidad por mantener mi palabra
te ha hecho huir y esta vez sin retorno

He tratado de seguir adelante
pero tu sabes como soy
no veo, no escucho, no siento
mis sentidos solo van dirigidos a la guerra
y esta ya la he ganado

Me voy con mis ilusiones quebradas
para encontrar otro final feliz desde el cielo
me marcho con los ojos caidos,
una lagrima y opaco suspiro

ugh!
todo indica
que
me enamore,
y si,
esta vez podria doler..
y mucho
bastante,
si me rompen el corazon, me quedare
descorazonada
por mucho tiempo
quizas por siempre



eres tu?
donde estas?
te veo
pero no se si aun te siento

tell me

am i the only one affected?
or you are doing exactly what i am?
i keep asking myself countless questions
with no answers

am i the only one hurting?
or you are doing it intensively?
i keep thinking youll be back
wont you?

am i the one with the issues?
or yours are just worse than mine?
i couldnt figure you out
did you get me?

am i the one who doesnt appreciate things?
cuz that is what you said
i tried to show you who i was
were you paying attention?

im the only one caring
dont you think i have forgotten
the way you treated me
was not right

im the only one who keeps waiting
for a call, a message, an email
and ill wait and wait
cuz you wont

keep filling my glass up..feel my soul

Friday night
terrible weather
questions without answers
ansiety,
fear,
loneliness
people keep coming
questioning things that i have no answer for
they look at me
like they really like my looks
i look back at them
like "get that fuck off"
I am ready for more fun
these past weekends have been interesting
I just need some wine,
a lot of it to be honest,
a big white smile
and i'll bee all game
it is friday night,
the streets are white,
my soul is red
my mind is black
im ready for what is coming
im glad you are still there
watching me
cant wait for tonight
i am gonna see you

new begining

awesome night
awesome thoughts
everything is awesome like it is
i m so positive
ready to make it happen
life is too short like to regret things
life is too awesome like to let things go
it is up to you
up to your own will
life is too good to be true
take it day by day
smell the aromas
taste the flavors
touch the textures
it is an awesome start
the day just began
open the door
let it pop
you have only one life
you live only once
smile at everything
that makes you feel alive
its the new you
love it, live it, laugh it

snowy days

snowy days remind me of you
or how i used to feel about you
even though you are gone and not coming back
i still think you are around watching me
or maybe that is what i wanna believe

i wonder sometimes
why you would not fight for this
what was it about me that you felt it was not worth it
was it you? was it me?
as a matter fact, i am still unsure

i never got the chance to tell you about my feelings,
my crazy thoughts and even the future i planned for us
now all of this only exists in the back of my mind
you wont be longer part of it
you are too far

And the snow is falling down
with it, some tears upon my face
i cannot say i am sad
it is just an effing snowy day that blows my mind
and i wonder if you wonder the same things

but i am too far now
i always were you used to say
you will never get to see the whole of me
i will never have the chance to show you
it is too late now, you were always too far...

i dont know where to go
who to follow
when am i gonna see it clear?
my mind is stuck
cant find my way
i do need help
i wanna run away, but i dont know where
who with
i need some guidance
S.O.S.

Letter to you, from my heart: It's all for good.

Dear You,
I have been thinking and I came up with this conclusion:
I have to let you go with the 2009!
First of all, I wanna truly thank you for all the love, laughs and fun we had together,
but this is not making me happy anymore as a matter fact is making me very sad.
I cannot blame you for all, it might be also me and my issues, but, enough is enough.
I used to get mad because i thought you were acting that way because of me. Why did you never send me a text in the morning
saying good morning I miss you, or just making a comment about the weather or how beautiful you think I am.
Never did.
How about us having dinner, or lunch or simply a nice evening planned together. Never Happened, never will.
You always call late,
probably because I'd be the only person answering a call that late, it can be my fault for not making the rules and letting you know that is not cool.
I have also been thinking that, maybe it is not me.
It is not that you don't care about me but that is the way you are, your childish behaviour does not allow you to see beyond.
It is not that you do not like me, it is just that you are too clueless to know what a girl wants or at least be close.
I do not know if I am making these excuses to excuse myself, cuz if my second theory is wrong then it is me, you don't like me
you'll never see me as that girl.
And I am sorry but I had plenty. It hurts me that you don't see me like that cuz i could see you like it.

Second of all, this would not be the first time we are falling apart, but this time will be the last good bye.
It has been always me trying hard but still cannot find your heart.
You and me does not have a future, you an me was found part 3 in 2009 and you and me will stay to dispel there too.
I always learn my lesson the hard way, and there are many things I'm still learning.
I would not call you a mistake, i rather call you a wake up call
I'm getting old, my mind is clarifying the way.
I will miss you so much, perhaps way too much.
I am an easy person to forget, but this chapter will always remain in a box somewhere in my heart.
To finish with all this I just want you to know that I am ready to let you go, I sent you all the signs already. I wish you the best, you are an awesome person,
there will be no more you and me
have a Merry Christmas
and
a Very- very Happy 2010!
you were the best part of my 2009
loved you (part time)
Sandy D.

And I might confess that my fears are bigger that yours
im afraid of losing you
of waking up one day and know that you wont be by my side anymore
I have to tell you how much I want you in my life
so much that I really dont care what people could think of us
that im crazy that you are insane
Im scared of the fact that you could change me for somebody
better than me, prettier, smarter, funnier
that you stop calling me
that you wont reply my messages
that you could ignore me and make me fall
I dont know what your intensions are
neither mine
but this affection is growing day by day
i like you so much that hurts
i want you so bad that i cant even show you how
i guess its time
i promise im trying to give you the best of me
hopefully you can see it
i cant let you go now
im deeply in love with you
and this time is literally with you, together, holding hands